San Diego Nursing Home Abuse Attorney – CheckMyNursingHome.com
Wednesday, August 17th, 2011Question by caregiver: Should I sue this nursing home for my mom death?
I need some good advice from any lawyer or family caregiver out there who have experience in elderly care in nursing home. My mother passed away in her wheelchair. The nurse called me the night she passed away that she was not responding in her wheelchair in her room so they sent her to the ER. I got a call from ER while driving to see her and ER nurse told me that my mom did not make it.
My mother was in this nursing home for about 10 months and ever since she moved in there, I have to fight for her right every day. I found unexplained bruises on her body and nobody can tell me how she got it. She was confined in wheelchair by the lap tray or lap buddy. She was very depressed and because she was in wheelchair for so many hours, her legs got weaker. I had to walk her every time I visited her. I tried to go there every other day to make sure she received the care she needs. I found out one day that my mom got very depressed that they gave her Xanax without letting me know about it. I was so mad and told them to stop and to inform me of any medication changes.
That never happened. I have to ask them for the list of medications every month. The nursing staff did not seem to have compassionate toward their patients. One of the weekend nurse came in the room and gave my mom pills and just walked away without acknowledge her questions. My mom shower room was so dirty that when I turn on the water, I can see the rust, brown water coming out. I had enough with their inhumane so I called the state to report the abuse and negligent. The state investigator came and interviewed a bunch of people that I never seen in my life like the administrator, the nursing director, the clinical specialist… They all seemed to stick together. I told them that nobody called me about my concerns when I’ve been told that someone will call me back.
They still couldn’t explain the bruises on my mom’s body. I did take some pictures of the bruises. After the state interviewed, there’s nothing much that they can do because I did not have a prove that they abused and neglect. However the weekend nurse’s attitude was changed dramatically after the state investigator talked to her about incident I reported. However, the problem still continued when they did not answer the call light in time. It is not acceptable to take 15 or 20 minutes for someone to help my mom to the toilet. She had so many incidents of UTI that she never had when she’s at home. My major complaint about this nursing home is that they lacking of quality care, the people they hired did not give a damn about their jobs.
My mom told me that some morning they just yank you out of bed and I think that when she started to get all kind of bruises. I spoke to admin, nursing director there and I heard the rumor from my mom that they did fire some people because of that but again, if they hired the right people at the first place, none of these would ever happen. They only gave a shower for my mom twice a week! I cannot imagine myself taking shower only 2 times a week! I asked unit manager about giving her more shower like 3-4 times but unit manager told me NO and did not seem to be helpful with my concern about shower. My mom needs shower everyday because of her health condition. She had home health care came in her home to give her shower 5 times a week.
As far as I know, my mom paid $ 7000/month to stay there and this is the kind of care she received!! horrible. There were few good people that really care about her. The pastoral people, the clinical specialist, her first shift CNA. I really upset about the medications that she has taken but no one from her nurse station bother to call me and inform me about it. I think her death is related to medications overloaded and being neglected by some lazy nursing assistant. My mom passed away about 3 months now and NO ONE from her nurse station calling me to tell me that they are sorry for my loss!
The only person that called me is the people from pastoral care. Is this normal? I found out a month after my mom passed away that the administrator quit his job. He always took care of my concerns. I don’t know if his resigned has anything to do with my mom death. There are a lot of things that being done wrong at this nursing home and the problem did not get resolved permanently. The quality of care was very inconsistent and my mom was in a roller coaster ride until the new nursing director took the job and things seemed to get better but then something happened the night that my mom passed away and only god will know.
First, I would like to thanks everyone for any good and bad advices. I am sorry that I did not explain clearly but some of you who did not know me cannot even judge me on how to care for my mother.
There is no execuses for letting her stay there for that long but there is no execuses for no fighting back and stand up for our rights. My mother suffered from Parkinson disease for 10 years. I always be there for her since my dad passed away. Her condition got worse in the point where she needs 24 hours care and the fact that I cannot quit my job because I still have bills to pay and paying for things that my mother needed. I placed my mother in this nursing home because she was there 3 years earlier for rehab and the care was much better than now plus she is closer to my home.
I went there almost everyday to give her a shower on the day that she did not have one. I took her for a walk, took her to dentist and when she died, my heart is broken in pieces, you have no idea.
You have no idea how I feel or cannot even understand it if you never loss someone you loved so much. It is easy to say that why I don’t move her out of there or why I don’t take her home and have someone care for her at home.
If you are in my position you will understand that I have to pay for mortgage, bills, and things that my mother needed like walker, dentures, medical expenses that did not cover by insurance. I took care my mother the best I could. I even hired someone to stay with her from time to time at the nursing home to watch her when I’m not there. I also changed her diaper so please understand that my relationship with my mother is more than the words can say. I tried to stand up not for my mother’s rights in the nursing home but for other residents which some of them did not even have family to look after. I also want to clarify that I did not see any more bruises on her after I reported that to state which was about 2-3 months after she there.
And as it seemed that what we fighting for starting to pay off especially when they hired the new nursing director, the person did the job right the first time and allowed my mother to have shower at least 3 times a week but again I gave her a shower on the day that she did not have one. I talked to my husband’s grandmother who is in the nursing home further away and she said the same thing that they are all the same in the way that they don’t have enough nursing assistant to care for a certain number of residents.
They have 1 CNA to take care of 9 residents and this is one of the issue that I brought up to the family meeting and to nursing director. Again, the response from them was that it is the ratio that using by all the nursing home today. This is one of the nursing home that received the golden seal award years ago and supposed to be the best one in town. If you put your child into the best school and someone there abuse him/her, would you move your child out of school? or
or would you report it to the police or someone who will investigate on that incident and to make sure that the other children will be safe from abuse? Some of you who did not understand and questioning why I left my mother there. I did not leave her there, I was there with her and gave her the care the daughter can possibly give. My mom knew that I love her very much and I wish that I could be there with her when she died… thanks again for your understanding..
Best answer:
Answer by J. Jinx
My grandmother was in a nursing home before we brought her home on hospice for her last 3 months. You are aware that there was nothing keeping her there legally? Why would you sit back and allow them to abuse her for 10 months and still keep her there? Not to be mean but maybe you are the one who needs to be investigated for neglect.
Caring for an elderly person at home is not easy but there are people willing to help and give you a break from time to time. You just have to go out and do your homework to find them.
What do you think? Answer below!
